With the recent market takeover of cellular telephones, it comes as no surprise that the number of outdoor telephone booths have recently been on a decline. New York itself boasts only a meager 4 remaining.
So what’s a mysterious quick-changing hero to do? According to Manhattan resident, Miguel Rios, port-a-potties are the most recent preferred changing room of the previous Planet Krypton resident. By comparison, such cubicles of excretion are far more numerous than outdated phone booths. Says Rios, “I didn’t believe my eyes at first; I opened the [unlocked port-a-potty] door and there was Superman, with one foot hitched up on the side of the toilet seat, and the other forcing its way into tights.” Rios apologized hastily and remained standing whistling outside of the potty while the hero completed his change.
Finally the fully clothed celebrity burst from the stall, still rubbing anti-bacterial hand sanitizer on his hands (brand unknown). Rios watched as he took off, noting that the idol of so many still had a few squares of toilet paper attached to the bottom of his boot.
Um, that was awesome.
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